That feeling when you leave your Endocrinologist appointment feeling proud…..
I don’t often feel ‘proud’ of my management with diabetes and I have struggled a bit the last five or so years with getting my HbA1c down but this week I am feeling good about myself.
As mentioned in a previous blog post, since being diagnosed I have had a fear of going to the doctors. I often work myself up to a panic and worry that my numbers are just not good enough despite how much I’m trying (or not)!
To be honest, I haven’t always tried my absolute best – I go through fazes where I just cannot be bothered! My motivation for my health really depends on how stressed or overwhelmed I am with other things in my life. I know that I shouldn’t let other things get in the way of my health but it seems to be the thing that happens. At these times, I cancel my Endo appointment or delay it as much as possible! Being an adult you can semi get away with it because the family don’t always know when your next appointment is, but the only person that ends up carrying the guilt is myself.
When I went for my blood test last week the nerves kicked in although I wasn’t as worked up as I normally would get. Over the last 3 months, despite being the Christmas/New year period with lots of eating and drinking I have concentrated on me. There have been moments when I ‘dropped off the radar’ for a few days but I really have been trying.
I have been trying not for anyone but for myself!
The last few months I have been extremely stressed, anxious and overwhelmed with a lot of things. Knowing how my body reacts to these situations, I knew that if I let myself go too much then it will be hard to get back up.
Putting more pressure on myself didn’t always help the situation but it kept me on top of things.
Because I have worked hard and concentrated on myself, I walked out of my endo appointment feeling proud. When he said ‘Keep doing what you are doing’ it made me believe in myself. It made me realise that it really is up to me because I live with it day to day!
There are external factors that always come into play but at the end of the day it depends on what
efforts I put in and how I react to different situations that may affect me or my levels.