When three months pass so quickly and you realise that your Endocrinologist appointment is the following week…..(Insert minor panic attack).
I have often wondered why I seek ‘validation’ from my Endo and completely freak out for my 15-20min appointment, but no matter what the outcome is or the conversation that I have with him is about, I know it will always work out to be less stressful than I build it up to be.
Ever since I can remember, for the few days before my appointment I become restless, irritated and worried. I work myself up to a panic that I feel like cancelling and running, even though I know I have done everything the best I could.
Have you heard about Latrophobia? The fear of doctors. There are several causes for this phobia and everyone is different but for me, I associate my Endo with my medical condition. When I used to have my clinic visits in a hospital, I sub-consciously associated that setting and my Endo with the fear of receiving further bad news.
Luckily, these days my blood pressure doesn’t go through the roof and I don’t get as annoying as I once did. Over the years my anxiety has definitely settled when attending clinic appointments, there is still a slight hesitation.
What I try to do to overcome this fear…
1. Breathe. It sounds stupid but at the end of the day, your breathing has the ability to release tension and clear your mind from those negative thoughts.
2. Laugh it off with your family and friends. Even though this can be a serious issue, I can always rely on those around me to put things into perspective. When I was at school and I had to leave for my appointment, my friend, Steph, made an effort to talk about something completely irrelevant to get my mind wondering – Unicorns were her favourite topic!
3. I tell myself that I’m the one that lives with t1d so I know my body best. Yes, Endo’s will look at your numbers and I have had a lot of disappointing HbA1c’s in the last 12 years but ultimately, it cannot be the only reflection of my management and who I am.